Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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