you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
