So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
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We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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