Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
