So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You ruined the universe
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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