If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
