Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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