I think im going to throw up on grandma
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
