The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
