What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize