Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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