One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
