does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
