Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
