Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
