Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
