he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
