And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize