Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
