i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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