I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
