Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize