Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
