Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
