we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
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I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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