I looked at my own cervix.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
