Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What a dumb baby whore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
