Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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