Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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