I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
