I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
