hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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