I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize