hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize