Moan for me like Helen Keller
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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