Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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