Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
