arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
