I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We left the knife in your bed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
