Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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