At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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