So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
