yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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