What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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