his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
