you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
