Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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