My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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