the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Liz is crying about burritos again.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
