was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
