one might say we're banned from that church
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
