I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
