That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
