i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
