My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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