She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
