We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
