just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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