he puts the penis in happiness.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize