If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
